More waiting

It’s 10:15pm as I write this, on Monday, October 4, the day after Stephanie had a cardiac arrest after she stopped breathing due to a seizure. Her seizure started at 10:08pm, practically 24 hours to the minute. I remember we were talking and watching TV and having a wonderful night together. I can still remember my horror when I turned to look at her and realized she was having yet another one. Three in one day! How is that possible? Horror turned into terror beyond words when her breathing seemed erratic and not sufficient to the point that she stopped breathing.

I never thought I would ever actually have to give mouth-to-mouth to anyone, let alone a family member. It is disturbingly similar to how it is on the practice CPR dummies. Her chest was rising and falling in accordance to the air I was breathing into her. It felt just as forced as it was. She wasn’t breathing at all. I was faking it for her, and I’ll never forget what that felt like. From calling 911 to answering the questions for EMS to gathering my things to take with me, I felt like I knew exactly what to do while also having no idea at the same time. I had been here before, worrying for my wife’s life. This was different, though. She stopped breathing. They used a defibrillator! I didn’t like “new.” Heck, I didn’t like “old,” either, and this was infinitely worse. Whose life was this?

I thank God that my children were at my parents’ house that night. Brady has seen at least three of Stephanie’s seizures, and two of those involved EMS. I worry for that little boy and how that affects his security. But this time they weren’t at home. Thank God that I was home. I’m so glad to have been at Stephanie’s side for every one of her seizures, and yet at the same time, I hate it.

I’m writing all of this while I continue to wait on the MRI. It will happen sometime tonight, but we won’t know until it’s time. And even then, it is a 1-2 hour test, and we won’t get preliminary results right away. Final results will have to wait until the morning when a doctor can really look at them and study them. I can’t anticipate that time enough, and yet I’m again terrified at what I will hear.

Thank you all for your prayers and for your love and care and concern. I cannot tell you how much it means to me, and I have found myself crying my eyes out at the love that is being heaped on me by everyone. Thank you. May God bless you all, and may He work His best in each of your lives.

17 thoughts on “More waiting”

  1. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray God will uphold you and strengthen you. I pray He gives the doctors and medical proffessionals all that is needed to help you and Stephanie. My heart goes out to you guys!

  2. Brad, I don’t know what to say, reading this has bought tears to my eyes. Have faith and God will not let you down, he will be with you every step of the way. My heart goes out to you and your family and well as Stephanies family. I have a lot of friends praying for you and prayer can be a wonderful wonderful thing.

  3. The roads you’re traveling right now are familiar to me on more than one occasion in my life, but it comforts and inspires me to know that you have complete trust in God and His plan. I hope you continue to keep strong for your family, and I hope and pray that everything will be ok. I’ll be keeping you guys in my prayers!!

  4. My daughter , Mary Hecky , is very good friends with Kelly , and she has asked that everyone pray for Stephanie , so I followed your blog and listened to my screen reader read about the battle Stephanie is enduring .Please know that I truly pray that she will once again be the loving mother that you have told about and that the Dr.’s at the Cleveland Clinic can find a source of her seizures and finally rid of them. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers

    Sincerely , Joyce Palya

  5. Brad – just know that we are all behind you, and this fight is not yours alone. We are praying with you, crying with you and hoping with you for more good news.

    Be proud of your strength and your faith, I know everyone who knows you is.

    Please reach out if there is anything we can do to help.

    Love –
    Karen and Aaron

  6. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray God will uphold you and strengthen you. I pray He gives the doctors and medical proffessionals all that is needed to help you and Stephanie. My heart goes out to you guys!

  7. I can’t even imagine your anguish right now. Stephanie, your kids and you will be on my mind and in my prayers. I have also sent out a prayers request to all of my faithful friends…. there are now even more people located all around our country that will add your family to their prayers.

  8. hello brad…my heart is crying out to God for stephanie’s recovery..this morning i heard very good news about epilepsy on NPR (national public radio) play the podcast… (10-5-10)… i am thinking positive, i am full of hope and constant prayers all day long into the night..much love to you stephanie and family….darlene

  9. You guys are in our prayers constantly! May you feel all the love and support surround you. God is the ultimate Physician and we pray that He guides the doctors to do what’s best. May you hold fast to His promises!

  10. We’re praying, Brad! May God hold you and your precious family in these difficult times!

    Ben, Katie, Mary Alice & Silas

  11. Your whole family, but especially Stephanie, are in our prayers! We are in Donna’s community group, and she has been updating us via email about Stephanie’s status. Lots of people are bringing your family before God today. May His good and perfect will be evident as you continue to rely on HIm through this!

    -the Scaletta family

  12. Brad,
    My heart aches for you and Stephanie and the kids….We are praying for the Lord to move in a mighty and quick way. I have asked the Cleveland House of Prayer to cover Stephanie, so please know you have MANY prayer warriors interceding for her. She is such a blessing to all who know her so thank you for taking time to blog and keeping us posted…we are here for you.
    Susan and Dean

  13. Brad,

    I don’t think we’ve ever met, but I’m your father-in-law’s cousin. I heard about Stephanie yesterday from Bill on Facebook, and found your blog tonight. I’m so sorry for what you all are going though. I’m praying for you constantly.

    .. Joann Hnat

  14. Brad we are praying for you and Stephanie and your children and family. We ask God for a miracle to touch Stephanie and bring her back to you. Your faith is strong Brad, and God is right by your side. Just reach out to him and grab on and don’t let go. Miracle’s happen everyday, and we pray you will be granted one. Just know that we are all praying for you and Stephanie and we pray that God gives you the strength to get through this horible emotional time in your life. If there is anything we can do for you and your family please let us know, until then our thoughts and prayers will continue. We love you and we might not be right with you, but we truly are right by your side. God Bless You and your children and family.

  15. Dear Brad,
    My heart is breaking for you. I always think of Stephanie as one of the nicest persons I know. To be related to her has always been an honor. I can’t imagine what you and your family are going through, but always remember that you are not alone. The love of family and friends is surrounding you and your faith in God will keep you strong. I am praying that He will restore health to Stephanie so that she can continue to love and serve Him. Love and support to all of you.

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