I highly believe that to experience a miracle, you have to be looking for one. God so often works in mysterious ways that we too easily miss it. He tends to “fly under the radar,” working in ways that seem reasonable or sometimes logical, but we’re usually just fooling ourselves when we think like that. A couple things have happened in the past few days to bless me in this way.
First of all, I don’t have a good black suit. The only suit I have is years old and is olive green (it was in style when I got it). I knew I needed a black suit, but never could find reason to spend the money. Sadly, I found a reason. A friend of ours from the church Stephanie worked at (and I grew up in) works at a department store where we were able to get an employee’s discount. As soon as we arrived, another person who knows us was just arriving, and insisted (I mean insisted) on paying for the suit. I was not worried about the money at all, really, but this person was determined to pay for it. And like I said in my previous post, I know people want to help in any way they can.
While leaving the department store, I ran across another friend who informed me that a P.O. box had been set up for people to be able to send to that address. This would preserve my household privacy (while emotionally/mentally/spiritually, I prefer not to have privacy as you’ve no doubt noticed). That was something I would have never thought of and am so thankful for the idea and for the work done to open the box.
Lastly, two nights ago, I was lying in my bed at my house. It was just me (the kids are at my parents and that’s where I’ve been staying mostly) and it was quiet and dark and sad. I had spent some time crying, but it was late and I knew I just needed to fall asleep. I was crying out to God that He would at least help me fall asleep if He was so insistent to not say “yes” to my cries for a miracle. As I was finally drifting into the night, I heard some books fall over which have been stacked in our room for at least a month or more (without having fallen yet, mind you). I had to turn on the light to see what was going on and found a book Stephanie had been reading called “When Life Is Hard” by James MacDonald. I don’t even know why she was reading it (though suspect it was after one of our three miscarriages), but I started into it and it sounds like a perfect book for everything going on. I couldn’t keep my eyes open too long and fell asleep after finishing a few pages.
These are the type of things I’m talking about, though. Anyone could easily explain these away as coincidence or randomness. But when it really comes down to it, I can’t believe these events are anything less than miracles from God. And, for as much as they can, they are helping to sustain me through this time. I’m keeping my eyes on the lookout for anything else that God is using to encourage me.
One of the greatest miracles, of course, is how I started this blog to make it easier on me to keep everyone updated with the news and spare myself writing 30 emails a day. Now thousands are reading and as many are praying for me and reaching out to me and encouraging me. That is the miracle of God’s people and His providence to see me through it all. Thank you again, for being a part of the miracle.
Thank your for honoring us with your most precious thoughts and feelings while going through all that you have.
Dear Brad. We dont know eachother but i have been very touched reading all of your entries. Please know that I lost my brother almost 10 years ago. This poem below is simple but amazing. Everytime I find a penny I know its my brother saying he is there with me. I even have a "Pennies from heaven" piggy bank where i put all the pennies I find :) Please read it. i hope you find comfort with this as I have for the past ten years. Take care. Stay strong and I am praying for you and your adorable kids :)Today I found a penny, Just laying on the ground. But it's not just a penny, This little coin I've found. Found pennies come from heaven. That's what my Grandpa told me. He said Angels toss them down. Oh, how I loved that story. He said when an Angel misses you, They toss a penny down, Sometimes just to cheer you up, To make a smile out of your frown. So don't pass by that penny When you're feeling blue; It may be a Penny from Heaven That an Angel's tossed to you. Pass this on to the people who you care about and who you feel that are angels to you. An angel is now watching over you.
God’s blessings are surrounding you, as we have prayed they would. Thanks for sharing about how He has blessed you, as it is encouraging to us. God will uphold you and sustain you and your children. Still praying for you all.
Thank you for sharing and for encouraging others as you experience such a dark time in your life. You are a light to many in more ways than you can know. I am praying for you……
Beth
I still find it amazing how you can express yourself through this blog. I think it’s awesome! It has to be really comforting to you to be able to share your feelings and what you are going through to anyone out there willing to read. I’m really sorry for your loss and pray that you continue having those miracles in your life; you definately deserve them.
Thank you for sharing your faith, heart and soul. As I said earlier, I have been exactly where you are when I lost my husband suddenly and completely unexpectedly. Just keep walking through it. Look for the miracles, because you are right: they are God’s provisions. The next few days will take a toll on you physically and emotionally. You are going to be surrounded by countless people who are grieving with you. Be sure to secure some quiet time for yourself and God. Let Him give you that supernatural power that you will need. God Bless You Brad.
Thank your for honoring us with your most precious thoughts and feelings while going through all that you have.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Brady and Halle for many days to come. I can’t imagine what you are going through, but this has always been my worst fear. I will pray that God continues to uphold you and your little ones and continues to provide those Miracles to help you through.
I saw a bumper sticker once that said “Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.” Also, as you wrote, “God works in mysterious ways.” These times could be explained away as random events, but I really believe that God reveals His presence to us in these moments. Whatever it is, whether it’s a song or a book or a phone call or a caring friend or a gentle breeze or a glimpse of a rainbow – sometimes at just the moment that we need Him the most – He reminds us that He’s right beside us every step of the way! :)
It makes me think of a love note tucked into your suitcase. Imagine it: you’re away from home, unpacking your socks, missing your family, and a note falls onto the bed. If you’re not paying attention, this tiny slip of paper could be thrown out as trash – but if you notice it and read it, it’s the greatest treasure in the world! It’s an intimate reminder from your lover that he/she’s thinking of you, missing you, and loving you – even from far away! In the same way, I think that God shows us that He loves us in little ways all over the place. Especially if we’re looking for Him, He’ll show us that He’s there! (Matthew 7:7)
I wish that you didn’t have to endure this loss and this time of suffering. But through it all, God is using your story to inspire us. He’s providing ” for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” (Isaiah 61:3a) Psalm 30:5b – “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 126:5 – “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.”
May God continue to bless you…and to bless us through you.
Dear Brad. We dont know eachother but i have been very touched reading all of your entries. Please know that I lost my brother almost 10 years ago. This poem below is simple but amazing. Everytime I find a penny I know its my brother saying he is there with me. I even have a "Pennies from heaven" piggy bank where i put all the pennies I find :) Please read it. i hope you find comfort with this as I have for the past ten years. Take care. Stay strong and I am praying for you and your adorable kids :)Today I found a penny, Just laying on the ground. But it's not just a penny, This little coin I've found. Found pennies come from heaven. That's what my Grandpa told me. He said Angels toss them down. Oh, how I loved that story. He said when an Angel misses you, They toss a penny down, Sometimes just to cheer you up, To make a smile out of your frown. So don't pass by that penny When you're feeling blue; It may be a Penny from Heaven That an Angel's tossed to you. Pass this on to the people who you care about and who you feel that are angels to you. An angel is now watching over you.
My sincere sympathy to you as your life transitions. I feel so moved to comment about the pile of books falling over. I truly believe it was a message from God and Stephanie. We had the same experience. My mother passed away at the age of 33. One week later my father told me a stack of books on his desk fell to the floor as he was trying to get to sleep. He said it was not possible for them to just fall on their own. He knew it was God and my mother. I have never forgotten that. We were young, as your children are, and it is so important for you to know that God will help you through this. Follow your faith and God will provide the paths for all of you to follow.
I was honored to meet you today, though I’m so sorry it was under these circumstances. I have to say that your “small wonders” really struck me. My dad and I were very close. He died 5 years ago. On my first day back at work after his funeral, I was sitting at my desk thinking about him and I was just sad! I needed a sign that he really was OK. He had been ill for some time and I just got into a routine of constantly worrying about him. I asked for a “sign” of sorts, and I was very specific. It was March and there weren’t many birds flying around in Cleveland, but I specifically told him and God that I wanted to see a bird, as a sign that he was in fact healthy and happy now. Minutes laters, two birds, doves in fact, landed on my window ledge. It was no coincidence. I really wish you didn’t have to endure this pain. It is so unfair! Always remember though that God and Stephanie are with you and always will be. May God continue to bless you with his presense!