This week will being my migration back home. I’ve been fortunate to take things slowly and work my way back to “the new normal” for my life. While at my parents, I’ve dealt with the absence of Stephanie as much as possible while here. I’ve encountered a few situations that were difficult and dealt with those. I’ll spend this week trying to spend a little more time at my house over each day, and start handling as much as I can.
I put it best in my personal journal: “I’ll have to start taking care of laundry. I’ll have to start figuring out meals. Bedtime will be all me. Bathtime will be me. Diapers. Me. Clothes. Me. Dogs. Me. Drinks. Me. Loneliness. Just me. And it’s going to suck, all over again.” This is where the adjustment really takes on shape. I have to learn to do those things that Stephanie always took care of. I know it will be good for me – well, at least in whatever sense that’s possible. Anyway, I’ll be slowly getting to the point where I’m (mostly) on my own the entire day.
Part of me is looking forward to it. I’ve never been good at change, so I’m really hoping to make good on this change and do myself and my kids right. It’s really the only choice I have, but I want to give my best effort and not just let it happen. We’ll see how it goes, and I’ll let you know.